You Know you are......

Lazy

- When you consider fighting with the cellophane wrapper on your bag of potato chips as exercise!!
- When you turn on the TV, crawl into bed and watch 3 hours of wrestling because the remote control is on the other side of the room!!
- When you don't move away from the curb, even after a truck splashes you!!
- When it's too much trouble to get your umbrella out of your car during a sudden downpour!!

Depressed

- When YOU COUNT YOUR ANXIETY ATTACKS AS WORKOUTS!!
- When you pause the exercise tape 90 seconds into the warm-up to have a cigarette.
- When you watch "The People's court" and yell, "Hang'em both!!"
- When you list all the things you could have done with the money you spent on therapy!!
- When you watch golf on TV!!
- When you hate New Year's Eve!!
- When getting the mail is one of the highlights of your day!!

Boring

- When your dog falls asleep while you're talking to him!!
- When you spend more than 20 seconds considering whether Elvis is actually dead!!
- When you take your cat's aloof behavior personally!!
- When you have a choice between a blind date and a nap, and you choose the nap!!
- When staying up all night is no longer cool!!
- When your idea of a vacation is to plunk yourself down in one place and not budge for a week!!
- When getting the mail is one of the highlights of your day!!

Getting Old

- When overnight, that amusing streak at your temple turns into gray hair!!
- When you find yourself counting the years till you can join AARP!!
- When you start bringing lawn chairs to outdoor concerts!!
- When life insurance starts making sense!!
- When you read the fine print..........If you can see it!!
- When it takes 3 days to recover from raking leaves!!
- When you can nap at will!!
- When your arms aren't long enough to keep the newspaper in focus!!
- When people start warning you about shoveling snow!!
- When your computer has more memory than you do!!
- When your dog falls asleep while you're talking to him!!

Unpopular

- When the only person who writes to you is Ed McMahon!!
- When the person next to you on the train falls asleep on your shoulder and you consider it a first date!!
- When you think the dog is scratching at the door because he wants to go out, but he wants you to go out!!
- When you're approved for a credit card with a £20 spending limit!!
- When you stop buying clothes and start buying power tools!!
- When you call an 0800 party line and no one will talk to you!!